Everyday in the morning, in a process that has become automatic to me, I fire up my PC and then put the kettle on boil for a cup of coffee. I have the process superbly timed so that by the time the PC is booted and my e-mail account is open I have already sipped through half of my coffee. Why does my e-mail take so long in downloading? You guessed it- the culprit is SPAM. The spammers seem to have a particular fascination with my account, I am not sure why. Could be because I have a magnetic personality, which is why I keep attracting junk from every direction. Anyway, now with the coffee coursing through my bloodstream, I am fully charged up for the delicate task that lies ahead, the task of working my way through a plethora of e-mails, by which I mean deleting most of them. Snip, snip, snip! 

It is very likely that you might be as tortured by these spammers (whom I prefer to call detestable parasites of the cyber world) as I am. Every Internet user worth his salt receives at least a dozen spam mails per day. In fact a leading California based spammer has the cheek to advertise on his website- if you are not on my mailing list then you don’t exist. Oh many in the world would say that they would rather not exist than be on his mailing list, but he is bent on making sure that everybody exists after all.  

The titles that these spams carry are as wacky as ever. Here are some of the recent treasures that made their way into my inbox and I guess they might have wriggled into your inbox as well:

• Think BIG!
• Realize the Bustline You've Permanently Sought
• Viagra Waiting for You
• Are You Snoring Yourself to Death?
• Sick of SPAM (spam proof your computer)
• Larger breasts without surgery
• Make Your Pants Happy (sent by a Hardened Male)
• BOINNNNG!
• Ways to Impress Chicks
• Gorgeous Fresh Breasts Right Away 
• You will only receive e-mails from very attractive women
• Free pictures of naked Anna Kournikova, Britney Spears
• Cheating on your spouse made easy
• Enlarge Your Penis by as much as three inches (no surgery required)
• Invest money in Nigeria
• Be an instant millionaire
• Girls begging for foreplay
• By myself with my clothes off
• Name the risk, we will Insure
• Looking for mortgage, just click
• Chicks gone Crazy

The list could go on and on right up to the next four or five pages all filled with similar interesting titles. And that makes me wonder just which kind of male or female actually clicks on such links and decides to buy products that these spams offer. Does there exists a breed of individuals who among other things consume Viagra in bulk, get their endowments artificially enlarged, ogle at naked pictures of Anna and Britney, make investments of all the places in Nigeria, crave to be an instant millionaire and are mad about chicks gone crazy? I have no idea where this diehard breed comes from. But they are out there somewhere sitting in front of their PC or laptops clicking frantically on every spam that comes their way.

By:Amrevis, New Delhi, India