Cracking the Code By Neha Gupta, Delhi, India
I am sure most of my female friends reading this blog would have gone through this problem at some point in their lives, or if not gone through themselves, they would surely have heard from their friends about this issue - dress code in office. Well, fortunately enough, none of the offices where I have worked so far had a dress code; but still at my previous workplace, which supposedly did not have any dress code, this issue merged with office politics and took an ugly form.
Being a fashion freak, underplaying my looks is the last thing I would ever do. So when I got to know that there was no dress code there, I was elated. On top of all, that was a female-dominated workplace, with women occupying the highest designations, including that of the Administrative Officer who is directly responsible for the kind of work culture prevailing in an office. Thus I started wearing jeans, jackets, skirts and chunky jewellery to the office. Though taking care of the 'unspoken dress code', I never opted for wraparounds or gypsy skirts, but yes, traditional clothes never became a part of my wardrobe; because I always felt more comfortable in western dresses. Many a time, some of my colleagues had problems with that for reasons unknown and often gave me sermons on what to wear and what not to wear in the office. Though they themselves used to wear saris with low-cut blouses and floral suits with flowing dupattas, my dresses were particularly offending as they were western and overtly stylish. On such occasions, I sometimes asked my department head and administrative officer if there was really anything objectionable about my clothes. They always replied in negative, urging me to ignore what everyone says.
Things proceeded well for a few months. The real problem arose when the administrative officer resigned and our department head went on a long leave. The new administrative officer was a male whom I jocularly used to call 'Hitler'. He had problems with everything. He was always bothered about why we checked our mails on office computer, why we used our mobiles, why we brushed our hair during the office hours, and of course why I dressed the way I did (though, he himself was fond of wearing jeans, hosiery tees, corduroys and cargos). He never said anything directly to me, but once he gave me the message through one of my colleagues that I should learn to dress up formally in the office. The dress which he found particularly 'informal' was a plain white high-collared cotton shirt that I always teamed with a straight calf-length black skirt. Ironically enough, this was the dress I always found 'formal' enough to be worn during the interviews in MNCs. I was really annoyed. And, just to show my resentment, I chose to wear a low-cut dress next day, which I usually avoided to wear in the office.
That day Mr Hitler scrutinised me from top to bottom and passed by without uttering a single word. But he did give me a warning under the scapegoat of my colleagues, who found it a golden opportunity to bash me. Finally I lost all my temper and literally shouted in front of everyone, "I'm not against a dress code. Let there be one! But it should be applicable on both men and women. Also, low-cut blouses, floral dupattas, hosiery tees, corduroys, all should be banned." Unfortunately, this comment did not do anything good to me. On the contrary, it branded me 'undisciplined'.
That day Mr Hitler scrutinised me from top to bottom and passed by without uttering a single word. But he did give me a warning under the scapegoat of my colleagues, who found it a golden opportunity to bash me. Finally I lost all my temper and literally shouted in front of everyone, "I'm not against a dress code. Let there be one! But it should be applicable on both men and women. Also, low-cut blouses, floral dupattas, hosiery tees, corduroys, all should be banned." Unfortunately, this comment did not do anything good to me. On the contrary, it branded me 'undisciplined'.
I thought about this issue for several days. Is it not that while speaking about the 'dress code', it is usually women who are implicated? In any case, what is the need of a dress code? Is it the dress that would determine our sincerity and quality of work? Why is a woman who loves to wear western suddenly marked 'snooty' or 'superficial'? Even in films and television serials, we always see two women pitted against each other - the good one and the bad one. Our 'good' girl is the simple and sober lady who wears traditional Indian dresses, whereas the 'bad' girl is always found in western clothes with loud makeup. I wonder why such stereotyping! Is this the only norm that determines a woman's character? When is this clichéd story going to end?
Well, I really have no idea about the end of this story; if any of my worthy readers can enlighten me in this respect, they are most welcome. But I can tell you where my story ended. It ended when I resigned from my job and joined another company, where I have been working for six months now. I still remember my first day here. My boss handed me the appointment letter and smilingly said, "If you have any questions, you may please ask." I hesitated for a while and said, "Do you have a dress code, sir?"
Neha,
You have provoked me into a subject that will make me shout from the roof...I was just twenty when i joined my first job, and my graduate results were still with the examiners...I had to wear a Saree because there were no youngster ladies in office. My salwars were packed away...yes, you heard right...salwar and kameez...I lived in glamor city Kochin of conservative Kerala...
Later on, in a few years, I bravely took to wearing the salwars...that was in horribly traditional Trivandrum...I now had a baby and had no time to bother with starching and ironing sarees...the oldies of the office expectedly condemned my style, all the time wearing blouses that exposed an expanse of midrif and back...surprisingly my peers joined the oldies...mostly because they werent 'allowed' to wear salwars...their men probably preferred other males seeing their wives exposed navels...( i am getting violent)...
My hubby told me to get on as I wanted to, so I didnt bother about the comments, but slowly others joined the club and soon there were a number of persons in 'other than saree' attire.
Then a young manager joined the office...she was 'married but separated' and very high profile...in fact an excellent personality...she wore jeans and the women in our office fainted...the men gaped and had fantasies most probably...her attire and her social status were linked and the lady was called up by her superior, the most revered Divisional Manager and asked to dress more appropriately...I dont know the rest of the conversation, but she continued the same dress code but later on left our office for greener pastures...for different reasons certainly
I am no longer in that or any corporate office. But I think back and wonder about our silliness...the saree is the most provocative dress ever...the most sexy...If people want to see people in a saree rather than a salwar, I can think only of certain reasons...the saree is pretty as well but not convenient for a down-to-earth schedule...
I am now 42, and i go out with my 13 year old daughter both of us in salwar suits, people tell me , sometimes not-so-gently, isnt it time you changed to saree...my reply isnt very polite now, so they dont speak to me thereafter...and yes, I still live in Kerala and I now live in housecoats and salwars alone...
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Suneetha,
Thanks a lot for sharing your story with us!
But I just loved your approach to the people who give sermons to you on wearing a sari. I always feel salwar kameez is a more modest dress than a sari. And anyways, it's all about one's own comfort and choice.
Looking forward to your novel next week!
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Reading both yr experiences, was thanking God that my office experiences were always confined to the TV industry, where everything goes - no one bothered much about what one wore, fagged or whatever. Of course, that was becoz I had hardly anything to do with the Kolkata TV industry, they used to be real BAAAD(15-20 yrs back!), twas the times i wud follow a self-imposed 'sari' dress-code.
You know Neha, don't know which is worse, an imposed dress-code or a self-imposed one, for in both you ultimeately kow-tow to external dictates!
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u know what.. i think people who try to do moral policing are more scared themselves and suffer from image problem. and i agree with SUnitha, saree is the sexiest of all dresses.. dont u find all our heroines wearing them when they have to woo the heors ?
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That's so true, Chhaya! Sari is the sexiest of all dresses. Our filmmakers and dress designers our certainly not dumb. They know how to dress up a heroine while attracting a man!!!
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Neha, you have brought out a really pertinent point.
Any dress code must be applicable to men and women and it should have nothing to do with Indian (saree) or western (trouser/skirt)outfits.
Suneetha, you are right that age should not be the criteria for wearing a saree!
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Thank you for your comments, Archana! And once again, the advice for having a painless diwali that you have given in your blog are just amazing!
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I have been looking up this site for sometime, and I find this lady (Neha)one of the most promising writers. The blogs are 'blogs' in the true sense, the writing simply flows, but lady, do you write in a hurry? Next time, do some more checks and cuts!
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Thank you so much, Bobby, for your encouraging comments! Yes, I sometimes write in a hurry, just to keep pace with my thoughts. But I generally, keep the write-up with me for a day or two to improve and edit it further. Do you find any mistakes in my writing? Please let me know, I'll try my best to work on them. It feels great when someone tells you your shortcomings apart from appreciating. Thank you once again! And please, get back to me with your further comments!
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I liked yr ending, Neha.
I think any outfit can be sexy, it depends how you put it on, the cut, and of course, body language.
Actually sari, tho not convenient to maintain or drape,is extremely convenient otherwise - all those bare places are so cooling in summers, and it goes without saying that it hides all those wrong bulges.
Even the Marwari community in Kolkata is changing, the dress codes are disappearing, thank heavens, and tho i wear most things, I mostly opt for the sari as my comfort zone, when I go out .... yes, you guessed it, why ...
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Thanks for you comments, Sangeeta!
This is the point that I want to make. It's all about what one feels comfortable in. My mom too feels comfortable in sari. In fact, she finds salwars a bit problematic. So, it just has to do with one's comfort. In any case, how can a dress determine a woman's character or capabilities?
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I have very rarely done a job and always dressed in what I feel comfortable in... mostly jeans! I love salwar kameezes and the occasional sari but will kill anyone who tells me what to wear. It is my business and I know when I have to wear a sari and when I can just be comfortable. And of course at a job, my work should matter, not my clothes. But I also remember that there was a woman in our office who wore short skirts because she was lousy at her job and wanted everyone to notice her legs and not her work!
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Hey Irene,
Now that's something which I find really crazy. Not covering your body just to cover up your flaws is really ridiculous. I feel, such women are the ones who pretend to be the torchbearers of women libeartion and eventually make a plastic doll of themselves, who is only good to look at!
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http://in.news.yahoo.com/071029/211/6mkgp.html
This is a story in a similar strain but not gender based...I almost laughed when I read this..
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Dear Suneetha,
Hahaha.... That was really a funny story! Imagine people compelled to follow a dress code even while going on a morning walk! On top of all, the offering of flowers to the violators of the rule in the true Gandhigiri style, as if they had committed a crime or something! You know what, if I were one of them, I would never have gone on the walk in full pants and decorate my house with the flowers they would have given me. At least, it would have spared me from the pains of going to a florist!
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Yeah, my blood boils when I see such women but I otherwise have nothing against any kind of attire. As long you can carry it off and are not dressing for ulterior motives!
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