The Indian Maid By Somalata, Hyderabad, India
No matter how much progress the Indian woman has made in the recent few years…there still are a plethora of standard situations that she has to deal with. It’s something which has come from generations, of course the version and the situations keep changing. One such issue is – The Indian Maid.
She is a regular visitor to the homes of many Indian women. A very important part of the entire household so much so that the day’s entire mood depends on Madame Maid...how she works, whether she turns up or not and so on. With the career woman cum homemaker concept widely prevalent, the Indian maid has assumed even more importance than anyone else!
Gone are the days when the word “servant” or “maid” brought images of a lady or a girl very poorly dressed in old sometimes torn clothes…someone very meek and submissive, calmly lapping up all the attention and even sometimes harsh words from her memsaab.
Naturally with the educated women progressing so much, our Indian maid has also made a lot of progress. She also loves to dress up for work…is bold..does not take any kind of nonsense when it comes to the tone in which she is spoken to. Unlike the trend of the past few decades, whether to take up work in a particular house at a particular wage or not is at the sole discretion of the maid. She is free to choose where she wants to work and for how long. So in short she’s a career woman in her own right…so what if she’s not educated or rich.
So we have two women, independent in their own ways and earning too. Else if not earning, two women - one the employee and the other queen of the house. How they resolve the issues related to the work, leaves and not to forget the egos is an art in itself.
The situation was no different for me when I entered the house newly married. I had this responsibility of “managing” the household along with my “work”. My maid had all the traits described above. She was also very good at her work and left no stone unturned in keeping the house clean. Very happy with her performance I even reached out to her by gifting her sarees for Ganesh Chaturthi and Diwali which she gladly accepted.
Things were very fine until I started noticing that she had become a bit reluctant and choosy in her work. Its something quite natural…sometimes one doesn’t feel like putting in 100% due to physical or mental constraints of that day. But in my case , she had started neglecting a few areas of work and developed it as a regular habit. This did not go down very well with me and one fine day I conveyed to her what I thought. What followed was a series of complaints from her side about how I presented the work to her! I was surprised by her harsh tone and aggressiveness and retaliated. The discussion continued till my hubby dearest unable to stand it anymore asked me to keep quiet and come away.
The whole day was spent in retrospection for me. I ignored the whole episode and took her complaints in my stride considering the fact that I was a novice in kitchen and maybe needed to improve.
A few days passed by and things started returning to normal till one fine afternoon when the battle began again! I was on a holiday and due to some work asked my maid to come late in the afternoon. She arrived at her own leisurely time in the evening. ..finished the work she wanted to perform and came up to me
“Amma, I won’t be cleaning the house today with a wet cloth. Would do it tomorrow”
I was pissed off with the commanding tone she spoke in and controlling my temper said to her “when you have come…why don’t you complete your work and leave”
This enraged her and again there was an outburst from her side. This time it became too much for me and I again asked her to quit the job for which she said “even I don’t have the desire to work like this and would quit as soon as I found a new job”.
I was furious! How could she say that and argue with me this way? Mom was right about how one should not give these people too much freedom. All these thoughts filled my head. Finally I found solace in my neighbor who advised “what! have you signed some contract with her or something! Why cant she quit? How can she speak like that to you. Do one thing the first thing in the morning when she comes give her the money and say that she can leave”.
I took fancy to the idea and yes it did make sense. I had been very generous and even ignored the first incident. This time it had really become too much and situation was going out of my hands. I felt I had to do something about it before it got too ugly or late. I was not in a position to stand her for a single day more. What bothered me the most was her authoritative tone. Why should I listen to her and act accordingly when I was the one paying her money!
My hubby on his return from home clearly noticed a change in my behavior. I narrated the entire episode to him with a lot of excitement about the plan to be executed the next day. He advised me to stay calm and at least put up with her till the month ending but I was in no mood to listen. Finally he left it up to me.
Husbands as always are the first ones to enjoy any altercation between two females provided that their mom is not one of them ? They love adding fuel to the fire and leave no stone unturned to relish such situations. My hubby also did the same to lighten up my mood by saying things like “hmm…shower her with more gifts” …”I thought you said she was very good”…..he was thoroughly enjoying himself…seeing me fume with even more anger at his comments. I also couldn’t help laughing and defending myself “oh come on, she’s good. everyone gives sarees and all. I’m not the only one. Its just that I cant stand her aggressiveness” and blah blah.
I woke up early in the morning and lay in bed rehearsing what I needed to say. I was filled with the joy of confronting her and giving it back to her. My hubby woke up to see me in a pensive mood and commented “What’s wrong? You are tensed up about that maid thing? Why don’t you sleep” to which I said “oh come on, its just that I woke up early. Why should I be tensed about a maid of all the people on the earth” One can be so vain at times!
The moment finally arrived…the doorbell rang at the right time as it did every morning. I jumped out of my bed to open the door .My hubby couldn’t suppress a smile seeing my enthusiasm. He seated himself on the sofa and picked up a newspaper just to watch how I dealt with the situation. Before opening the door I asked him “its ok na?” As soon as I open the door I will tell her on the doorstep only that I don’t need you anymore”
‘Yes of course darling..” was his reply.
So I opened the door to face my opponent ? There she stood as proud as ever. I showed her the money and informed her that I would not be requiring her services anymore. She remained firm and answered “I would leave as soon as I get another house to work in”. I even offered her extra money so that she did not incur loss which she refused to accept saying that she would work and then take the money. The conversation reached a deadlock and I looked at my hubby in dismay with a “what do I do now” look. He shrugged to indicate that don’t let her work anymore. Regaining my confidence I again took my stand and refused to yield. She too was firm on her word. I said to her “what have I done to you? I just said complete your work and for that you scream at me. Why would I tolerate this nuisance considering the fact that I am the one whose guidelines you are supposed to follow.”
“Don’t I work well” was the question.
Now the situation was getting emotional for her and I being a soft natured person already was melting to her pleas.
“Of course you do. But that doesn’t mean that you talk the way you do! If you had requested me that amma I wont be able to clean the house today. I have some work…I would have agreed. But you informed me and left which left me furious. On top of that you argued with me.”
“What amma why would I shout at you…I was just telling you”
I again looked at my hubby for support. He whispered “come on! Be firm”
“No” I said again.
Then followed a series of explanations and finally I let her in. The door opened and she walked inside and continued her job.
“What could I do? Doesn’t look nice na if I just treat her like that.” I tried justifying my act to my husband.
“Look I’m fed up of this daily jhik jhik, manage however you want” was his curt reply.
I thought for sometime and then said to him “ok I will go to the kitchen and tell her that she can work if she wants to but in a proper way”
He nodded in affirmation.
So I went to the kitchen again to initiate a conversation and also make up for my behavior which was justified but did not reflect my real self.
“Sorry amma” was what I heard as soon as I stepped in. “Maybe some mistake from my side”
“Its ok …you can work here” I said.
I came out of the kitchen and jumped in glee. My husband was amused by my happiness and confirmed “Cool at least now the problem is solved”.
So that was a happy ending and me and my maid lived happily ever after much to the relief of my dearest husband!
She is a regular visitor to the homes of many Indian women. A very important part of the entire household so much so that the day’s entire mood depends on Madame Maid...how she works, whether she turns up or not and so on. With the career woman cum homemaker concept widely prevalent, the Indian maid has assumed even more importance than anyone else!
Gone are the days when the word “servant” or “maid” brought images of a lady or a girl very poorly dressed in old sometimes torn clothes…someone very meek and submissive, calmly lapping up all the attention and even sometimes harsh words from her memsaab.
Naturally with the educated women progressing so much, our Indian maid has also made a lot of progress. She also loves to dress up for work…is bold..does not take any kind of nonsense when it comes to the tone in which she is spoken to. Unlike the trend of the past few decades, whether to take up work in a particular house at a particular wage or not is at the sole discretion of the maid. She is free to choose where she wants to work and for how long. So in short she’s a career woman in her own right…so what if she’s not educated or rich.
So we have two women, independent in their own ways and earning too. Else if not earning, two women - one the employee and the other queen of the house. How they resolve the issues related to the work, leaves and not to forget the egos is an art in itself.
The situation was no different for me when I entered the house newly married. I had this responsibility of “managing” the household along with my “work”. My maid had all the traits described above. She was also very good at her work and left no stone unturned in keeping the house clean. Very happy with her performance I even reached out to her by gifting her sarees for Ganesh Chaturthi and Diwali which she gladly accepted.
Things were very fine until I started noticing that she had become a bit reluctant and choosy in her work. Its something quite natural…sometimes one doesn’t feel like putting in 100% due to physical or mental constraints of that day. But in my case , she had started neglecting a few areas of work and developed it as a regular habit. This did not go down very well with me and one fine day I conveyed to her what I thought. What followed was a series of complaints from her side about how I presented the work to her! I was surprised by her harsh tone and aggressiveness and retaliated. The discussion continued till my hubby dearest unable to stand it anymore asked me to keep quiet and come away.
The whole day was spent in retrospection for me. I ignored the whole episode and took her complaints in my stride considering the fact that I was a novice in kitchen and maybe needed to improve.
A few days passed by and things started returning to normal till one fine afternoon when the battle began again! I was on a holiday and due to some work asked my maid to come late in the afternoon. She arrived at her own leisurely time in the evening. ..finished the work she wanted to perform and came up to me
“Amma, I won’t be cleaning the house today with a wet cloth. Would do it tomorrow”
I was pissed off with the commanding tone she spoke in and controlling my temper said to her “when you have come…why don’t you complete your work and leave”
This enraged her and again there was an outburst from her side. This time it became too much for me and I again asked her to quit the job for which she said “even I don’t have the desire to work like this and would quit as soon as I found a new job”.
I was furious! How could she say that and argue with me this way? Mom was right about how one should not give these people too much freedom. All these thoughts filled my head. Finally I found solace in my neighbor who advised “what! have you signed some contract with her or something! Why cant she quit? How can she speak like that to you. Do one thing the first thing in the morning when she comes give her the money and say that she can leave”.
I took fancy to the idea and yes it did make sense. I had been very generous and even ignored the first incident. This time it had really become too much and situation was going out of my hands. I felt I had to do something about it before it got too ugly or late. I was not in a position to stand her for a single day more. What bothered me the most was her authoritative tone. Why should I listen to her and act accordingly when I was the one paying her money!
My hubby on his return from home clearly noticed a change in my behavior. I narrated the entire episode to him with a lot of excitement about the plan to be executed the next day. He advised me to stay calm and at least put up with her till the month ending but I was in no mood to listen. Finally he left it up to me.
Husbands as always are the first ones to enjoy any altercation between two females provided that their mom is not one of them ? They love adding fuel to the fire and leave no stone unturned to relish such situations. My hubby also did the same to lighten up my mood by saying things like “hmm…shower her with more gifts” …”I thought you said she was very good”…..he was thoroughly enjoying himself…seeing me fume with even more anger at his comments. I also couldn’t help laughing and defending myself “oh come on, she’s good. everyone gives sarees and all. I’m not the only one. Its just that I cant stand her aggressiveness” and blah blah.
I woke up early in the morning and lay in bed rehearsing what I needed to say. I was filled with the joy of confronting her and giving it back to her. My hubby woke up to see me in a pensive mood and commented “What’s wrong? You are tensed up about that maid thing? Why don’t you sleep” to which I said “oh come on, its just that I woke up early. Why should I be tensed about a maid of all the people on the earth” One can be so vain at times!
The moment finally arrived…the doorbell rang at the right time as it did every morning. I jumped out of my bed to open the door .My hubby couldn’t suppress a smile seeing my enthusiasm. He seated himself on the sofa and picked up a newspaper just to watch how I dealt with the situation. Before opening the door I asked him “its ok na?” As soon as I open the door I will tell her on the doorstep only that I don’t need you anymore”
‘Yes of course darling..” was his reply.
So I opened the door to face my opponent ? There she stood as proud as ever. I showed her the money and informed her that I would not be requiring her services anymore. She remained firm and answered “I would leave as soon as I get another house to work in”. I even offered her extra money so that she did not incur loss which she refused to accept saying that she would work and then take the money. The conversation reached a deadlock and I looked at my hubby in dismay with a “what do I do now” look. He shrugged to indicate that don’t let her work anymore. Regaining my confidence I again took my stand and refused to yield. She too was firm on her word. I said to her “what have I done to you? I just said complete your work and for that you scream at me. Why would I tolerate this nuisance considering the fact that I am the one whose guidelines you are supposed to follow.”
“Don’t I work well” was the question.
Now the situation was getting emotional for her and I being a soft natured person already was melting to her pleas.
“Of course you do. But that doesn’t mean that you talk the way you do! If you had requested me that amma I wont be able to clean the house today. I have some work…I would have agreed. But you informed me and left which left me furious. On top of that you argued with me.”
“What amma why would I shout at you…I was just telling you”
I again looked at my hubby for support. He whispered “come on! Be firm”
“No” I said again.
Then followed a series of explanations and finally I let her in. The door opened and she walked inside and continued her job.
“What could I do? Doesn’t look nice na if I just treat her like that.” I tried justifying my act to my husband.
“Look I’m fed up of this daily jhik jhik, manage however you want” was his curt reply.
I thought for sometime and then said to him “ok I will go to the kitchen and tell her that she can work if she wants to but in a proper way”
He nodded in affirmation.
So I went to the kitchen again to initiate a conversation and also make up for my behavior which was justified but did not reflect my real self.
“Sorry amma” was what I heard as soon as I stepped in. “Maybe some mistake from my side”
“Its ok …you can work here” I said.
I came out of the kitchen and jumped in glee. My husband was amused by my happiness and confirmed “Cool at least now the problem is solved”.
So that was a happy ending and me and my maid lived happily ever after much to the relief of my dearest husband!
well written! The same scenario is prevailing even at my house!hehehe they know how to ping us!! btw me too a hyderabadi.
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My God, how these women do make a noise about maids...do you forget they belong to the same gender/
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No, women don't forget it, especially on 'their' (maids')bad/needy days, but not necessarily vice versa.
Its a fact however that maids are an important part of Indian households, and many a family's well-being depends upon the smooth efficiency with which they do thir roles.
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Somlata, I felt as though I was reading my own story. In fact, its the same with most of us women, we have become so dependant on maids that we are becoming obsessed with their role in our lives! At times it disgusts me too, I mean how can one let somebody dictate yr moods, but thats the way it happends, unfortuately so.
So it was nice to read a humourous take, though it would have been better had it been more compactly written. I look forward to more such humorous stuff from you!
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Hi Sangeeta,
Thanks for your comment.This is my first article so far on this forum.Would surely keep your suggestion in mind the next time I write.
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What you wrote is the story of every house indeed. I've had such bad experiences with two maids myself and its just so maddening!!
A well written funny account of our day-to-day hassels.
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Hey, nice one..
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