RECAP Ishaani and Aditya go together to meet Diya, who’s bubbling with excitement. Ishaani feels compelled to tell Diya and Sandip the truth and Diya takes it very badly. She is still crying when her parents leave. Aditya drops Ishaani home, knowing she is feeling wretched, and then goes back to his empty home. CHAPTER 5 It wasn’t any easier because he had known about it for so long, known that he would one day have this empty home where Ishaani would no longer be around, taking care of so many tiny details. She had arranged things so that the household would carry on fine without her. The house would be cleaned, clothes washed and meals cooked. As he set down to dinner, he noticed that Runu was purring a little distractedly, having barely touched her milk. The table was set and Shayan lit the candles as they sat down to eat. The steak was indeed nice, the vegetables accompanying it crisp, and the mashed potatoes tasted perfect. Ishaani knew the dinner would have felt so wonderful if only Diya’s tear stained face didn’t keep disturbing her. It’s not fair... I love my daughters but they only think of me as a mother. I am a woman too- She caught Shayan smiling indulgently at her. I guess I will always be a mother for them. And that is fine. I will always love them unconditionally, but why do they presume that I have to love their father as well? I guess it is a tough bit of news for children to accept. I don’t think I’d have taken it very well if my mother told me something like that! Ishaani smiled a bit at the thought of Shayan’s mother walking out on her husband. Shayan caught the smile and worked on it to take the worries away. Today had been special, and he wanted it to end as a happy day. He had loved her for so long that he could almost not remember a time when he did not love her. It had begun as a strong attraction during their college days but he had been too much of a recluse those days to ever talk to her. In any case, she had always been a part of the rather boisterous crowd that adorned the Jadavpur University lobby and he hated that crowd. Hated their supreme arrogance, their English medium education backgrounds, their affluence, their ability to top exams despite the fact that they hardly ever attended any classes. He now knew that a lot of that was just a façade but it had left him rather complexed those days about his two pairs of trousers and three shirts. About the fact that he could not hop onto a mini bus but waited for a no.45 to take him home, that he could not have endless cups of tea and cigarettes as was the ‘fashionable’ thing to do. He did give some tuitions to earn a bit of pocket money, but that money was invested in books, for if there was anything he felt more strongly than the attraction for Ishaani, it was his love of literature. Sometimes he would get the urge to tell her that she didn’t really belong with this crowd and their perpetual loud laughter. There was something about her that made her special, that made him write a poem about her that he almost gave her. But instead she surprised him by coming up to him one day. In her hand was a wedding invitation that he held out to him. Hers. Come please. You are getting married? Yes. Aren’t you too young? Aren’t you going to study?- Please come. The whole class is coming. She moved away without really listening to or answering his questions. Snatches of overheard conversation put together the story for him, which was a common enough story. Parents had found a good match for the daughter. She had protested a bit and then given in. Rich guy. Had his own bungalow in Salt Lake. Was even good-looking. She could continue with her graduation. Shayan never went for the wedding, but when she resumed classes after college, he decided that the vermillion streak was reason enough for him to stop longing for her. Even though she looked even more beautiful now, wearing the new bride’s glow and a bit of sindoor on the bridge of her nose. She remained his muse though, through all the poetry that he wrote, even when she stopped short of completing her graduation as she became pregnant with her first child.  She did come to college a few months into her pregnancy but used to mostly sit a little apart, lost in the world of her own vacant gaze. Cutting across his thoughts, Ishaani’s mobile rang. Hello Abu. How’re you doing? Isn’t Port Blair just out of this world? Yes. Shayan heard a certain change in tone creep in. Defensive. -I would have told you after you returned. I didn’t want to disturb your honeymoon. -Yes Abu, we’ll have a long talk after you come back. I will tell you everything. -Your Baba will be fine. He knew about it. Don’t worry. -How’s Rudra? You two have a good time, huh- -Thanks Abu. Goodnight. Ishaani put the phone down and turned to Shayan with a puzzled look. Abu was so grown up about the whole thing. She is a grown up, you know. She wants to have a woman to woman talk with me after she’s back. That’s nice. But awkward too. She has always discussed all her loves with me but for me to do the same! And how many loves have there been?, asked Shayan in mock earnest. Just one, my love, said Ishaani, knowing that the honest answer wasn’t always the right one to give.                                To be continued....