In Perspective - Being a working mom – saying “yes’ to the challenge By Surabhi, Mumbai, India
What was the more exciting moment in your life? Holding your baby for the first time or holding your first pay cheque? Tough question and no right answers. It is certainly a difficult choice to make for a mother no matter how old her child is. Motherhood is the introduction to many untold joys but it is equally taxing and tiring. One can be very emotional about the whole thing and say that the child is all important and top priority but it becomes equally important to have something for yourself, something your very own. Your work. Your work gives you your personal identity and that is why it is so important to you. Not that your child doesn’t. I feel working gives you a lot of opportunity to grow, to nurture your talents and broaden your horizons.I often speak to my friends who are in the same shoes as mine. They also echoed my feelings about getting back to work after the baby. However, it’s very difficult to predict which the right time to get back is. Many of them have experienced crankiness and tantrums by children, when they realise that their mother’s attention is divided with something else, which is also important. Fatigue and stress also shows on both child and mother.
But after much though and discussion, I came to the conclusion that your child and you are ready to start, when you, (the mother) decide to take the plunge. It requires a lot of conditioning and preparation by the mother towards the child and extra care for the initial days. I am sure your child will understand your need just like you understand his! Of course, you may not be able to take on much work and the same kind of projects that used to challenge you, but you can gradually step up your work as your child grows up.
Remember, you shouldn’t miss out on the growing years of your child, but it is essential for you also to grow personally and professionally. Your pay cheque and your child’s emotional security cannot be equal; but they both definitely give you a lot of satisfaction and happiness. Once you are able to balance the two, you will realise that you can be a success on both grounds.
Very well-written and inspiring article. I have a three and half year old son and am still struggling to balance working as a writer with being a mom. I agree that balance is very important for satisfaction both for the child and the mother. I work mainly from home now on the computer/internet and have a flexible work schedule so I can spend more time with my son. Well done and keep it up!
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Thanks, Its heartening to note that other Moms also reciprocate my opinion.
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Well written. As the child grows, Moms too need to let go so as let the child learn by himself. Finding an occupation besides managing homes will ensure her mind too continues to develop and personality grow. It will make her a better person and better able to deal with issues that crop with as all children grow into teenagers and young adults.
Moms must also devote time their health as usually 'looking after' family takes some much time that she ignores herself. This is very important osteoporosis, diabetes can strike when she is 40 or so.
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dear surabhi,
its a never ending debate. why should being a mother be a challege? its just great enough being a mom. thats it, nothing else matters.
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Surabhi - A well written piece. As you have rightly mentioned - there are no right or wrong answers. Each of us is different and have different priorities. To some a pay check may be a necessity, to others an identity. The way I look at it is that you can always find some form of work or get back to work at a later point in your life, but the precious moments that you spend with your child can never be brought back once they get past each stage in their development.
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Thanks everyone, its very encouraging to noe that other moms also reciprocate my feelings.
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indeed i have undergone lot of untold tiring things balancing what the authour has mentioned one would experience. Today's young woman are far more thoughtful than we were !!!!
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Dear surbhi
I dont agree with you.Money and identity is important but what about time.The same time never comes back.You will never be able to see your child growing up again but you can always get a job,even after a gap of 4-5 years.I think no one can take care of the child as effectively the mother,not even the father.A child suffers a lot if motherly affection is not around but unable to speak ,he or she can't express though a mother can read a child as no other can.In my view you should never work leaving your young baby at home unless the situation demands.Being a sociology lecturer in my survey i found that now even the working mothers,who are paid highly, are abstaining from work till their child is mature.
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