In Social Issues - Within the Four Walls By Indrani Talukdar, Delhi (NCR), India
The screams were followed by uncontrollable sobs. I was plainly shocked for Vandana (name changed) had appeared so serenely happy with her husband Ankit and their five-year-old son Ashish. When I had moved into the adjoining flat a year ago it was she who had stepped forward to make feel comfortable in my new home by offering tea and snacks. It was she who told me the way to the nearest milk bar and whom to contact for repairs and odd jobs. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that this ‘happy’ housewife with a compact family was also an Economics doctorate and had been a lecturer in a college in Jaipur, her hometown. Now when I think of it, I had liked her husband Ankit too. A mild-mannered software engineer Ankit was working with a reputed multinational and had just returned from abroad. The ‘beatings’ – I learnt that they occurred repeatedly – were being instigated by interfering in-laws.
According to a UN study two-thirds of women fall victim to domestic violence in India. Now consider an important fact: a single violent incident causes the victim to lose seven working days. Now consider another significant fact: No less than 70 percent married Indian women fall prey to domestic abuse, rape, marital rape, beatings and the like. Calculate the number of valuable working days lost and your mind truly boggles. Going by statistics, the same report predicts that at least one in three women are likely to be beaten, raped or forced into sexual compliance or abused in several ways. As expected, the violence – particularly instances of wife-beating – is ‘justified’ by the victims. Among the women interviewed for the study, quite a few reported that they were beaten (quite ‘rightly’) for neglecting the children or for failing to cook. Some said that denial of sex had incited the violence. Significantly, most cases involving domestic violence have gone unreported, the reason being lack of emergency relief for the victims and long-drawn court proceedings apart from ,of course, the social stigma attached to the abuse.
The Domestic Violence Act, which is designed to protect women from physical as well as emotional abuse, came into effect on October 26, 2005. For the first time, ‘abuse’ was defined clearly in the physical, emotional and even in the conjugal context. Equally significant is the fact that the law recognizes, for the first time, relationships outside the wedlock. All this looks fine on paper, certainly. But what about implementability? Do we have a police force sensitized to women’s issues, to begin with? The answer, unfortunately, is ‘no’. The same can be said of the judiciary to a large extent. What about society then? As a postscript to Vandana’s case, let me add another incident.
This month the neighborhood woke up to a volley of screams one early morning. This time everybody heard Vandana yelling ‘Fire! Fire!’ at the top of her voice. Faces began peeping out of windows. Vandana’s husband raised hand came down sheepishly. I haven’t heard any screams since…
The way vandana and her husband are described makes vandana to be a stronger character than her hubby. considering the fact that she was happily married and the last sentence"Vandana’s husband raised hand came down sheepishly. I haven’t heard any screams since…" i tend to believe that vandana was taking advantage of the Domestic Violence Act.
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You could be right; they live next door to me and I haven't heard any screams lately.
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I'm so glad Vandana tackled this one, so well...good thinking on her part.
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I have always wondered what it must be like to live with someone who's raised his hand on you once...
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I too have wondered. Vandana (not her real name, as you know) says that she does not want to deprive her young son of a father's care. I wonder how much merit there is in her argument.
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Such a difficult problem to address. I attempted to tackle this issue in a small way in my first story for 4IW, A Class of Her Own, but it's one thing to put right the troubles of a fictional character - the real thing is so much much harder to deal with. Like Irene, I wonder what I would do in such a situation - fight back and risk an even worse beating? Report it and hope that the authorities do not let her down? Say nothing and try not to do anything that might 'provoke' the next blow? Your neighbour 'Vandana' sounds like a strong, resourceful woman and I hope her problems are now at an end.
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When I spoke to her last, she told me that her husband bought her a bouquet of flowers and has promised to behave himself. I hope its a good omen.
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I've read all the comments to this post. As Irene says, it must be difficult for a woman to live (and then share the bed) with a man who beats her. As per Vandana, it's because she doesn't want to deprive her son of father's love. But I feel, will it be a good impression on the psyche of a child who always sees his parents at war, with father raising his hands on mother?
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I have discussed the same thing with her, believe me. She says she is keeping her options open for now, so lets see...
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