MY MOTHER’S SPECIAL GIFT By Lesley D. Biswas, Kolkata, India
When my daughter was born, I not only became a mother but she made me understand that my mother was a very special woman. As Oprah Winfrey says, “Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother”; I realized the meaning in full.
A mothers love cannot be repaid and neither does any real mother want their child to pay back, but the least that we can do, is to appreciate this gift. My mother was one very special lady who inspired me to be a full-time mother at a time when the world is propagating a notion of woman’s liberation – that undermines motherhood as an unwelcome predicament.
My mother was a very simple woman. She never wore make-up and had no personal ambitions for her own glory. She devoted her life to raising her three children and according to me, her life was no less satisfying or successful that any working mother of today. She showed me that motherhood is fulfilling in itself. But what makes her unique is this very special gift that she gave me. My mother gave me her presence in my childhood years so that I could enjoy good times. Although I had to share her attention with my brother and sister, she was there at our beck and call. Always cooking, washing and gardening (I don’t remember ever seeing her resting); she made us feel secure. When I suffered a heartbreak, she comforted me despite her heart aching. Unfortunately as kids we often term this selfless love as parenting responsibility and degrade her never-exhausting efforts to keep us happy.
Today I m a full-time mom myself and I realize how daunting a task it is to nurture your children. I do not deny that I have also been made to reconsider my decision when I m forced to wade through my daughters temper tantrums. But having said that, these moments of trial are soon overwhelmed by the countless bounty of joy motherhood provides us mothers. I cook for my daughter; watch her favourite cartoon Tom and Jerry and we laugh together; and I take her on cycling expeditions and hear her pour her heart out when her friends are hurting. We celebrate little joys together, which are the actual milestones that change our life and matter the most in the long run.
Had my mother not been there for me when I was a child, I wouldn’t have understood the importance of being a full-time mother myself. Probably I m missing out on other things that other mothers rate more important but I know that at the end of the journey, when I sit back and look at my life’s achievements, I will have enough to count to make me proud and also to make my mother proud of me had she been here.
This is so true, Lesley! We realise the worth of our mother only when we step into her shoes. Good write-up!
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Yes Neha, and sometimes the realisation comes too late when she has gone. I see many children and specially teens who find their mothers love a cage but they will only know how warm and comforting this cage is when they are all alone.
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You are right, we take so much that our mothers do for us for granted and only when we have children ourselves does the importance of the 'job' really hit us. Nicely done, Lesley.
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I guess I am in that stage when its a slog for the family without any thought for days and nights and writing is what takes me off my rote...I am but still incomparable to what my mom does even now...she still manages to make me her satellite, sitting in another part of the world...
Lesley, you said it just right..
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it is all yes to this. some mothers keep petting their 21 year old daughters, feeding them with one's own hands, pandering to all their fancies.... a grotesque display of motherly feelings. there is a limit to this show. One also needs to discipline them, make them take responsibilities, allocate duties and groom them to a healthy motherhood themselves. it is very important. what say?
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Thanks everyone, Its great that we all can identify with our mom's and as you all say its very essential to be grateful and also teach our kids to acknowledge the mothering efforts that are truly times-taking and unfortunately thankless.
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