MY MOTHER’S SPECIAL GIFT By Lesley D. Biswas, Kolkata, India

 

When  my  daughter  was  born,  I  not only  became a  mother  but  she  made  me  understand  that  my  mother  was  a  very  special  woman.  As  Oprah  Winfrey  says,  “Biology  is  the  least  of  what  makes  someone  a  mother”;  I  realized  the  meaning  in  full.

A  mothers  love  cannot  be  repaid  and  neither  does  any  real  mother  want  their  child  to  pay  back,  but  the  least  that  we  can  do,  is  to  appreciate  this  gift.  My  mother  was  one  very  special  lady  who  inspired  me  to  be  a  full-time  mother  at  a  time  when  the  world  is  propagating  a  notion  of  woman’s  liberation – that  undermines  motherhood  as  an  unwelcome  predicament.

My  mother  was  a  very  simple  woman.  She  never  wore  make-up  and  had  no  personal  ambitions  for  her  own  glory.  She  devoted  her  life  to  raising  her  three children  and  according  to  me,  her  life was  no  less  satisfying  or  successful  that  any  working  mother  of  today.  She  showed  me  that  motherhood  is  fulfilling  in  itself. But  what  makes  her  unique  is  this  very  special  gift  that  she  gave  me.  My  mother  gave  me  her  presence  in  my  childhood  years  so  that  I  could  enjoy  good  times.  Although  I had  to  share  her  attention  with  my  brother  and  sister,  she  was  there  at  our  beck  and  call.  Always  cooking,  washing  and  gardening  (I  don’t  remember  ever  seeing  her  resting);  she  made  us  feel  secure.  When  I  suffered  a  heartbreak,  she  comforted  me  despite  her  heart  aching.  Unfortunately  as  kids  we  often  term  this  selfless  love  as  parenting  responsibility  and  degrade  her  never-exhausting  efforts  to  keep  us  happy. 

Today  I m  a  full-time  mom  myself  and  I  realize how  daunting  a  task  it  is  to nurture  your  children.  I  do  not  deny  that  I  have  also  been  made  to  reconsider  my  decision  when  I m  forced  to  wade   through  my  daughters  temper  tantrums.  But  having  said  that,  these  moments  of  trial  are  soon  overwhelmed   by  the  countless  bounty  of  joy  motherhood  provides  us  mothers.  I  cook  for  my  daughter;  watch  her  favourite  cartoon  Tom  and  Jerry  and  we  laugh  together;  and  I  take  her  on  cycling  expeditions  and  hear  her  pour  her  heart  out  when  her  friends  are  hurting.  We  celebrate  little  joys  together,  which  are  the  actual  milestones  that  change  our  life  and  matter  the  most  in  the  long  run.
           
Had  my  mother  not  been  there  for  me  when  I  was  a  child,  I  wouldn’t  have  understood  the  importance  of  being  a  full-time  mother  myself.  Probably  I m  missing  out  on  other  things  that  other  mothers  rate  more  important  but   I  know that  at  the  end  of  the  journey,  when  I  sit  back  and  look  at  my  life’s  achievements,  I  will  have  enough  to  count  to  make  me  proud  and  also  to  make  my  mother  proud  of  me  had  she  been  here.

 

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Comments

  • 10 May 2008, 5:18 PM Neha Gupta wrote:
    This is so true, Lesley! We realise the worth of our mother only when we step into her shoes. Good write-up!
    Reply to this
    1. 11 May 2008, 2:50 PM lesley wrote:
      Yes Neha, and sometimes the realisation comes too late when she has gone. I see many children and specially teens who find their mothers love a cage but they will only know how warm and comforting this cage is when they are all alone.
      Reply to this
  • 11 May 2008, 11:17 PM Christine Sutton wrote:
    You are right, we take so much that our mothers do for us for granted and only when we have children ourselves does the importance of the 'job' really hit us. Nicely done, Lesley.
    Reply to this
  • 12 May 2008, 12:16 AM Suneetha.B wrote:
    I guess I am in that stage when its a slog for the family without any thought for days and nights and writing is what takes me off my rote...I am but still incomparable to what my mom does even now...she still manages to make me her satellite, sitting in another part of the world...

    Lesley, you said it just right..
    Reply to this
  • 12 May 2008, 3:51 PM srividya.R. wrote:
    it is all yes to this. some mothers keep petting their 21 year old daughters, feeding them with one's own hands, pandering to all their fancies.... a grotesque display of motherly feelings. there is a limit to this show. One also needs to discipline them, make them take responsibilities, allocate duties and groom them to a healthy motherhood themselves. it is very important. what say?
    Reply to this
  • 13 May 2008, 8:13 PM lesley wrote:
    Thanks everyone, Its great that we all can identify with our mom's and as you all say its very essential to be grateful and also teach our kids to acknowledge the mothering efforts that are truly times-taking and unfortunately thankless.
    Reply to this
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