In True Incidents - MY MOM AND THE COMPUTER By Durriya Hajoori, Surat, India
After my Dad passed away a few years back, Mom was left all alone with the responsibility of taking care of my Grandparents. Both were in their nineties and my Mom herself in her sixties. All the burdens of running the house came upon her shoulders.
For all her life, Mom had been a happy devoted housewife but with all her three children married and away from her, living in different cities, her world seemed empty and bare, now, that Dad was gone. The loneliness took its toll on her. She lost all her will to survive falling into frequent bouts of sorrow and depression.
Seeing her condition, my sister introduced her to chatting on the Internet. A computer was a very complex machine for my Mom. She came from a Gujarati educational background. English was a subject she learnt while making us study in our school days. So she knew it only at a basic reading level. Writing and typing text was something quite different. With great patience and effort she learnt it slowly. Her broken English or miss-spelt words did not seem to matter to those she spoke to online. She had a beautiful voice. Singing was her passion and she joined the online groups of people with similar interests in music. For my Mom, it was a whole new world which opened up to her. A world where everyone was one, sharing the love for music in common. No caste, creed, color, age, place or sex mattered. She found happiness in sharing with an infinite number of friends who respected her, loved her voice when she sang, enjoyed her company and in turn took away her loneliness and sorrow.
The real world was a place where there was nothing left for her to do. Her life partner was gone, her children were busy with their own lives, her friends with theirs, she didn’t have any formal education, and she could not go out and get a job to keep herself busy with the constraints of responsibilities of the house and health problems related to age. The computer gave her access to new friendships, opportunities and most of all it made her happy again.
People have varied opinions on the positive or negative effects of the computer and the internet. Children are introduced to them in their early school years and it becomes a part of their education like any other subject. We, their parent generation learnt it in our college years. Often we see our children know more than us! However, what about our parents? To them a computer and the internet are just something they stand beside us and observe.
In an age where every part of life is getting computerized do we ever stop to think how alien it must feel to them? The fact that they need not go to the bank to check their account balance, or that they do not need to go to the railway station to buy a ticket, or that they need not travel hundreds of miles to see their dear ones! Is it not our responsibility to teach them, our parents, as they have taught us, their children and as we, teach our children? Do we expect to move ahead in the future when our parents live in the past? When they have held our hands and led us into the future?
At a stage, where health problems would make communication difficult; where retirement would leave them confined to the house; where everyone else would seem busy in their own lives our parents would become more and more dependant on us and out of touch with the outside world. Let us give them the world at their feet.
A computer is a window to the world. Let us install this window in our homes and open it up for our parents, so that they may enter into a whole new world of information and experiences and that they may be happy.
Well put Durriya.
Ageing brings on loneliness and as the mind becomes less active, physical complaints set in faster. Learning new skills (computers or otherwise) helps keep the brain active, instills new 'josh' and brings a new purpose to their lives.
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What a well thought out piece of writing. Yes, the computer and the internet have revolutionized our lives and it is sometimes hard to imagine what life was like without them. It is good to know it has been such a lifeline for your mother, Durriya.
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Excellent blog, Durriya! I think I myself should introduce my mom to the computer.
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Durriya, this is a very pleasant piece of writing and an eye-opener for many of us...you have been indeed a good bridge for your mother, helping her to cross over to modern technology and opening up her horizons...Cheerz to you!
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Excellent insight into the problems of old age and loneliness.The bonus is the solution it provides. Thougtful writing, Durriya.
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