I, for one, jumped for joy when girls in Kanpur came out in a discernibly vocal protest against colleges trying to ban jeans and western clothes in campuses. Such a far cry from the early 80s when I was a student of Psychology at Allahabad University. The ‘ban’ had been internal, actually internalized. Having studied at so-called elitist schools in Dehradun I found the ban oppressive, to say the least. But did the ‘modest’ salwar kameez with a six-yard-long dupatta stop the eve teasers in their tracks? I certainly don’t think so. Then one day the entire Psychology department was treated to the sight of a gang of hoodlums trailing two girls from the North East making lewd comments all the way. Their offence? You guessed it: they were attired in ‘offensive’ western clothes. To make matters worse, not one soul came up in their support, some even blaming these hapless girls from a far-off Indian state who, poor souls, probably didn’t even understand Hindi. I am ashamed to admit that I imbibed some of those misplaced values, often blaming myself for being the recipient of unwarranted (and unwanted) male attention. Today I am convinced that self-blame is part of a male conspiracy to ‘keep the woman in her place’.
I do not have the statistics but I am willing to bet my last rupee that 90 percent women fall victim to the phenomenon of self-blame in various social settings.
According to a study conducted by an NGO the level of self-blame goes up with the seriousness of the crime perpetrated. The study states that 37 of women who are molested and as many as 50 percent of those raped were inclined to blame themselves rather than seeing themselves as victims as opposed to 22 percent women who’ve been eve-teased.
My conviction was strengthened some two decades later, in a foreign country. As I climbed into tram No 70 from the city’s main railway station I saw a bevy of young women stepping aboard at the next stop. December being a hot month these pretty young things were in beachwear. Some of the attire was so indescribably revealing that I found myself gawking. One of the women was wearing a garment (I don’t know how else to describe it) literally held together by a piece of string tied into a bow at the back. Cut to stop number four: a middle-aged man got up and before my eyes tried to undo the string at which all the women pounced on him and told him off in no uncertain terms.
Later, when I recounted the incident to a male colleague he lauded the behavior of the girls on the tram as the ‘man was out of line’. He demanded to know what the other passengers were doing and why they didn’t try to stop the offender. “What she wears is her business but the guy had no business stepping into her boundaries. Didn’t he realize it was Saturday, a day when everybody heads out towards the beach? I wanted to stand up and clap. Two days later my eye fell on news bit from India: Teachers of an East Indian school were instructed by their principal to wear aprons over their dresses so as not to ‘distract the male gaze’. The item was filed under a section of Melbourne’s popular MX daily newsmagazine called ‘What a Weird World’. How weird indeed. I was saddened rather than tickled by a news item that was making Melbournites laugh at us.
Cut to the present. When Mr. Kamran Rizvi, secretary to UP’s chief minister Mayawati stated on June 23rd, “We have come to know that several colleges are mulling a proposal to ban jeans, while some colleges have already issued an order in this regard. The government is against it…” I couldn’t help rejoicing. So much for a state deemed ‘backward’ countrywide.
There are other battles to be won, of course. Women need to feel safe in Mangalore pubs, for instance. Couples need to be left alone on Valentine’s Day…. The list could stretch on and on. The point is this: some victories are hard-won and need to be kept. And we can do it.
Well-written! We are taught to blame ourselves when in fact it is the offender's crime and the bystanders apathy.
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It's high time that tables were turned. Thanks for being the first one in, Nayantara.
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Nice blog, Indrani! I can never understand why there is always so much of hue and cry over the jeans. Often the transparent and body-hugging kameezes teamed with churidars, and sarees with low-cut blouses end up being the more revealing dresses than jeans.
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Nice blog, Indrani! I can never understand why there is always so much of hue and cry over the jeans. Often the transparent and body-hugging kameezes teamed with churidars, and sarees with low-cut blouses end up being the more revealing dresses than jeans.
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I couldn't agree with you more. In fact, some of my western friends have echoed similar sentiments.
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Nice blog, Indrani! I can never understand why there is always so much of hue and cry over the jeans. Often the transparent and body-hugging kameezes teamed with churidars, and sarees with low-cut blouses end up being the more revealing dresses than jeans.
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A good topic, and one which concerns all young women. Well covered and described.
Regards.
Prema Sastri
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Thanks Prema for visiting.
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Very nice blog.
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Thanks Beniyaaz
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Indrani, Wonderful writing! What a bit of to-do over a piece of garment , which first started off as rough cowboy wear and was made out of easily available and discarded flour sacks. But denims and jeans have really made a fashion statement, haven’t they
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Thanks Mita! Yes, I know what you mean. But who's going to explain to these self-appointed trustees of 'Indian morality'?
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Nice blog Indrani. I stand by the jeans garment anyday. Most men, the chauvanistic ones only need an excuse to 'keep women in their place.' Let's take it all with a pinch of salt.
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I wish there was a ban on chauvinism, don't you?
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Indrani,
For someone who can only think of erecting her own statues all over her state the act of being against the colleges who want to ban jeans is definitely a giant leap for women's independence and empowerment
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You have taken the words right out of my mouth!
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Well written Indrani! I loved your concluding lines.
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Yes Indrani, what I wear is totally my business indeed. I wish people didn't become self-appointed moral guardians.
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One of Dhoni's ads makes the same point, if you know what I mean.
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Thanks Archana, for your comment. Sure means a lot to me.
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Dear Indrani,
Well written blog. It is one's own personal liking what she likes to wear and trying to curtail those freedom is nothing but male ego, unfolding its brutal elements.
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I agree with you Chitra. How about curtailing the male ego instead?
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Dear Indarni,
It is long time we must make moves to accomplish the aim of curtailing the male ego.
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I agree with you.
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Very nice blog!
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Thanks Chandrima!
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Very relevant blog Indrani.... I have seen many women who blame the girls for wearing "revealing" clothes.... What about the men? And as you've said, even the modest salwar kameez or sarees don't deter these offenders... It's high time that we stop blaming ourselves and target our rage in the right direction
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Women blaming other women... that's the bane of our society. We must make a concerted effort to stop this, don't you think?
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Indrani,interesting piece of writing. I believe clothes should be of one's own choice. When one is comfortable in the clothes they wear what bothers the other person. A correction for those people-Mind your own business.
Gouri
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Indra
This is the third time I am trying to comment, and I hope it gets posted this time...
Kerala society had rebelled silently against salwars once, now it still exists in some of our temples... official bans on salwars...
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It surprises me a lot that on one hand,the country has progressed so much,but on the other hand people still bother so much about what a girl is wearing! God knows when people will learn to think above this and when men will learn to give more importance on a woman's qualities rather than her outfit!
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