Sometime back we had gone to Palakkad in Kerala to attend my sister in law’s son’s Upanayanam (sacred thread ceremony).  Since it was an important family function many of my Mother-in-law’s brothers and sisters and their families had also travelled to Palakkad.  We were all put up in one of the service apartments run by a relative of my sister-in-law.  The relative a young dynamic woman of 45 yrs also runs a catering service.  She took care of all of us and her two children pitched in whenever their mother or father needed help.  The son a graduate and his younger sister who was still in college took care of all our needs.  Now the boy is dynamic like his mother and was gregarious, but the pretty daughter was a little gloomy and dull.  She looked like she had lost interest in life and went about her work like a robot, attending college, speaking mechanically when spoken to and bursting into tears when her mother reprimanded her for serving us cold coffee.                           

I took my sister in law aside and prodded her about the teenager and she had a shocking tale to tell.  It all started when the family bought a personal computer to help them with their payments and bills and also an Internet connection to take reservations on their web site.  The children as most modern children were adept at using the net and soon the girl had posted her profile on Orkut, Facebook and other social networking sites.  It seems that the girl had met a boy in one of the social networking sites and the friendship turned to love and before long they were meeting down the road and chatting for long hours. 

 

Palakkad being a conservative town, it was not long before the parents got wind of the girl’s clandestine meetings with the boy.  Infact the girl’s paternal grandmother had earlier spotted the girl with the boy and had told her daughter-in-law about the incident, but the mother pooh poohed the incident.  But when they started hearing about their daughter from others, they could not ignore and took their daughter to task.  Instead of advising her in a friendly manner it looks like they had beaten her and the girl in a fit of rage consumed sleeping tablets.  She was admitted to the hospital and her stomach cleaned and somehow she survived.  It was a nightmare for the couple.  Later we heard that she had also flunked her 12th boards.  For someone who had sailed through the 10th standard exams effortlessly, this must have been terrible blow.

 

The incident left me shocked, but I was wondering if only the girl was to be blamed.  I thought the parents were also at fault for letting her use the net without any supervision.  These days both the husband and wife are working and the children are left alone at home or in the care of servants or grand parents.  Bored and stressed out children find solace in the computer.  It could be the net or computer games.  With less time and more work, children do not have time to play with friends or chat with them face to face.   Under these circumstances isn’t it wise to either block certain sites or atleast ensure that the child uses the net under an adult supervision?  Gone are the days when children used to be scared of their parents and would never share any of their problems.  These days’ parents treat their children as friends and this makes it easy for the children to air their problems. In turn the parents can also have a  frank talk with their children and tell them about the pitfalls of using the net randomly.  It makes more sense to be honest and tell children upfront about cyber stalkers, cybercrimes and pornography and the need to block these sites. 

 

If they are teenagers and want to use networking sites, let them, but it would be good if the parents supervise their accounts once in a while either by letting the child add them as friends or by visiting their accounts when the child is logging on.  Most children never ever rebel when they are told the truth nor do they act clandestinely.  Give them freedom and responsibility for they go hand in hand, but let them know that freedom comes with a price and that it should never be misused and should be used judiciously and believe me this usually works like a charm.