Who are the women whom we look to for inspiration? Mother Teresa? Indira Gandhi? Sushmita Sen? Well they are right there on a pedestal –  but on a more day-to-day basis, I think we look closer to home – women like us, ordinary women, who go through life, displaying rare tenacity, determination and strength, even in the face of adversity. They may not be geniuses, or breathtakingly beautiful, or from the social elite; in fact they have nothing which would make them stand apart in a crowd. They are just the women-next-door, whose lives brush against ours sometimes fleetingly, sometimes on a more long-term daily basis; and only suddenly are we made aware that under this commonplace exterior (and often worn-out clothes) is an intrepid brave-heart navigating hostile environment to the best of her capacity.  

 

I have found inspiration from a motley group – a domestic help, an untrained nurse, a small entrepreneur, and yes even a murderess!  

Rani, who works as a domestic help in my daughter’s house, ‘Maushi’ whose husband killed her two children and left her for another woman, Mangala Bai who sells vegetables at our street corner, Shalini Behn who has built up a Rs 60 million business in instant foods starting out with a seed capital of Rs 10, and Anita * (name changed) who in self-defence killed her violent alcoholic husband and is now serving time in prison.  

Rani lived with her husband in a joint family system for 15 years, cooking, cleaning, looking after the family’s cows. But when her husband died five years ago, her in-laws began ill-treating her and her four children aged nine to fifteen. There were times when they went to bed hungry. Finally Rani could take it no more. Bravely she packed her meagre belongings, took her children by the hand and walked out. My daughter took her in, gave her a job and a room to live in. Rani works diligently and sends all her children to school.  

We all call her ‘Maushi (aunt). At 65, she is a serene-looking woman who looks after my ageing neighbour who has a host of ailments ranging from diabetes to sciatica and cancer. Living 50 kilometres away in a village she travels that distance everyday changing three buses and taking four hours. And though she is the perfect nurse she had had no formal training. Everything has been learnt by quiet observation. Maushi’s husband was an alcoholic, who compounded matters by having affairs with various women. He would also beat her up in his alcoholic rages, and in separate incidents killed two of their babies. Maushi quietly packed up her two remaining children and brought them up on her own. But she continued to maintain good relations with her in-laws, who supported her decision. A year ago, when her husband passed away, she even performed his last rites since his latest mistress refused it.   

Mangala Bai has four daughters. Selling vegetables at a street corner, she sends all four to school, while the eldest is now in college. Avers Mangala, “I will educate my daughters so that they can become teachers or get other jobs. I do not want them to lead the life I lead.”  

Shalini’s husband had a modest cloth store in the old part of Pune city. But when an accidental fire burnt it to ashes, he went into depression and would not budge out from home. Shalini’s neighbours had always relished the tasty ‘pan-masala’ that she made at home. These were a combination of various spices which served as mouth-fresheners after a meal. Shalini invested Rs 10 to buy the spices. She begged her neighbours to give her their discarded plastic milk pouches which she washed, dried and filled with this pan-masala. She then sold it to them for a small profit. More orders poured in, and slowly she expanded her business. As more money came in, she began to grind and sell various flours. With expanding business, the next step was to buy machines. Fourteen years down the line she has a thriving business worth millions, and her two sons, now grown-up, also help her.  

Anita is young, not even 30 and has a little daughter who is barely six. Anita is serving time in the prison because she killed her husband. I met her at the local jail for women, and this is her story, “Everyday he would come back drunk and beat me and my daughter. He broke so many bones. I was always covered with bruises and cuts because he would attack me with whatever he found at hand. I feared for my life and for my daughter. One day when he was lying in a stupor after beating me, I killed him. I had to save myself,” she says without hint of remorse. Anita is a model prisoner, obedient, friendly and hard-working. From behind the prison walls, she applied for correspondence courses and hopes to complete her college in a few years. “When I’m released, I’ll get a job so that I can make a new life for myself and my daughter,” she says, determination writ on her face.  

I admire Rani for her dogged courage. To walk out into a hostile world, not knowing where your next meal is going to come from, and especially when you have four other mouths to, to feed – takes guts.  

I admire Maushi not just for her hard work in providing for her children but also because she had the largeness of heart to forgive the husband who ruined her life.  

I am amazed that Mangala, who is uneducated, understands the power of education.  

I marvel at  Shalini’s business acumen in building up a business brick by little brick. 

And as for Anita, I am in awe in the face of such courage and fortitude.  

All these women come from the most socially and economically vulnerable backgrounds Yet, they have risen above their pasts to make a better future for themselves and for their children. They are the true Earth Mothers full of steely resolve and unbounded love for their young.