When I was posted to Kerala (Palghat) in the year 2000, I did not know a single word of Malayalam, except for the fact that the word “Malayalam” is a palindrome. In my new assignment, I had to often talk to press persons. Every time I used to talk to them, I used to invariably get the answer, “I got it” – which made me wonder as to why, they have a special way of saying, “I got it” – even from normally Malayalam speaking persons. I reasoned, that this may be because of Kerala being the most literate state in the country. Months later, I had to bargain with a vegetable vendor, and for something that I said, he replied, “I got it!” – I was, amazed at the English speaking veggie vendor when it suddenly dawned on me that he couldn’t have possibly said, “I got it” – I then began a research into the term, and found out that all these days, I was being told, “Aikottey” – in Malayalam, which means, “OK” or “let it be” !
But it was not only the Malayalam that confused me. The SIMBLE English that is spoken in Kerala, is a different English altogether. Whenever I heard them say Lorry, I distinctly remembered the North Indian festival of Lori. When Rajini’s movie, Shivaji the Boss was released, many asked me, “Sir, have you seen Shivaji the Bose?” I started calling my North Indian boss as “bose” – and he immensely enjoyed it.
Once, at a new year party at the Railway colony, music was being played, which was a bit slow for party music. Suddenly, a malayalee youth, who wanted the music to be fast and loud, started shouting, “Roke music!” “Roke music!” – Luckily, the sound system guy did not know Hindi, or he would have promptly stopped the music.
When I got transferred, after eight long and very happy years in Kerala, I knew that I had to ”adjust” to the new “Tamilish” that is being spoken in Tamil Nadu. “Sir” was replaced by “Saar” and I found myself at odds with the English that is spoken in Tamil Nadu. To tell about the Tamilish, one requires another full blog, so I will stop here.
Recently, I got an SMS from an acquaintance, wanting a berth on emergency quota, thus : “Sir, please give birth for my son in train No.----of date----“ I preserved that SMS for quite some time, and only recently deleted it, after showing it to my wife, who was a “spoken English” teacher once.
In Railways, we often used the term, “Window Trailing Inspection” to denote an open window in the last carriage at the end of the train to enable the inspecting officials to see and inspect as the train moves. One day, I was amused to see a note that said that one of the top officials was going on a WIDOW trailing inspection! I had preserved that note for quite a long time now, hoping to include it in some book that I might write someday.
But in my travels all over, I have found that English, is one uniting factor. English, even though it is a British legacy, is the only language that really brings people together. Imagine people from Jammu, Himachal, UP, Bihar, West Bengal, Orissa, Assam, Meghalaya, Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra, Karnataka, Madhya Pradesh, Andhra Pradesh, Tamil Nadu, Kerala, etc, meeting together and trying to have a meaningful discussion? Hindi will have an edge over other languages, but certainly, English will have an edge over Hindi?
Once, when I had to visit my wife’s place in North India, I had the occasion to interact with some of her relatives, and one of them repeatedly asked me to eat well, and not feel shy. (In North India, the “damaad” is fed, fed, and fed, till he is fed up!). He repeatedly kept telling me, “please eat nicely, and don’t embrace me” – I kept wondering as to how I could possibly “embrace” him when I was atleast a few feet away from him. Only later I realized that I was, actually, “embarrassing” him!
Embarassing or not, English is one language that is embracing us, literally!
(Note : I am from South India, and my wife is from North India – which is why we were able to really appreciate Chetan Bhagat’s “Two States” immensely. We have gone through a lot together because of and despite our cultural and lingual differences, and we have taken a lot of efforts to see that our child is not affected by these two states…..But we fondly hope that the day will come in India, where no one will be able to say, that he is from this state or that, and that, he or she is, simply, a Bharath vasee! ( “Indian” is also a british coinage ?) – The great Tamil poet, Bharathi, speaks of India, only as “Bharatham” – the land of Bharat. When it was decided that India will have her Freedom, Lord Mountbatten received a number of letters from astrologers to not only change the date of independence from 15th August, 1947 (as it was considered inauspicious by the astrologers) but also on naming the country as “Bharat” instead of India…..)
Hi Om. Nice blog. Trust you to come up with something like this!
Reply to this
Thanks, Shail.
Reply to this
Hi Om, what a series of adventures you've had really! Well, the last time I was in Kerala, I wanted to make Paneer Chilly for my relatives and I'd taken it up on me to do so. When I did send someone to the local market in Waynad, Pullpolly (that's where my aunt stays)and he asked for paneer...That guy gave him rose water. Finally, I did make fried rice, but instead of paneer chilly as the gravy, I'd to settle with making some other 'Curry' as they call gravy.
Even I've been a spoken English trainer to vernacular medium students, and have had many experiences even with people doing M.Phil in Linguistics. I remember an editor in my first office (Where I worked as a Correspondent). She used to keep asking me to edit documents when I was just a newbie. She didn't know most of the grammatical errors...and she was a so called Linguist.
Hilarious expressions, nonetheless. Btw, our very own dear columnist Shail mistook my article on Indian Railways to be yours and commented that way! Anyway, I'm glad about one thing, that reading my article, she could think it could be you... What an honour!
Reply to this
Hello, Sneha. Thanks for the comment. We used to have a typist who used to make a lot of mistakes. We started calling her Thuppist!(tamil + english)and the name still stands.
Regarding Shail mistaking your article for mine, I think I should now start calling her, "Thuppist"!
Reply to this
Not a bad idea, at all, Om...but Shail won't be too pleased!
Reply to this
Hilarious. A lot of people call me 'anti' instead of aunty. I tried to explain at first, then thought I would enjoy it instead. People in the South call 'Chaat' as chat, so it's 'alu chat' instead of 'Alu chaat'. ('Chaatna' in Hindi is licking, so we are talking of lip-smacking dishes.)
Reply to this
Madam,
Thanks.
A guest who had come last month for a dinner, told my wife that she liked the "DOLL" very much! (For Dhal)
Reply to this
Well written Om. I have lots of such instances to share. I will restrict to just one.
During my one of my visits to delhi, the place I stayed was near a traffic signal. When I was returning to my room, my friend who knows hindi told the auto driver, to take us to 'Lalpathi'. I thought this is the name of area where I stayed. Next day I went alone to another area for sight seeing. while returning, I asked the auto driver to take me to 'Lalpathi'. He took the auto to next traffic signal and asked him to get down. I told him that this is not 'Lalpathi'. He took me to next traffic signal and asked me to get down. I told him this is not the place, go to 'lalpathi'. This went on & on for 4/5 signals. The auto driver was so frustrated, he told me to get down even without paying fare. I politely told him again to go to lalpathi. After travelling a short distance, luckily I had miraculously reached my actual 'lalpathi' and got down from auto.
After narrating the story to my hindi expert, I was shocked to know that 'Lalpathi' means 'red signal' in hindi. I now imagined the poor plight of auto driver............. During my recent visit to delhi, my friends sent me sms wishing happy lalpathi days....
How is this OM?
Reply to this
Hari,
Thanks, I always look forward to your comments. They usually say Lalbathi gaddi for VIP cars, but you must be careful about the usage of the word Lalbathi, as it means something else also!
Reply to this
The 'foot in the mouth' episodes that you had described were really hilarious. they literally left me in splits.
Reply to this
Thank you, Madam. Some years back, I had a superior officer who was always wanting to show off. Once, his son, studying in a famous Christian school, came to the office with the white cossacked vice principal in tow, for some favour that the school wanted. My superior officer introduced the white cossack attired christian vice principal, (whom we call brother or father, depending on their seniority) thus: "Please meet the father of my son" !
Reply to this
Nice one... enjoyed it
Reply to this
Thanks, Sujatha. Glad that you enjoyed it.
Reply to this
Hilarious! I've encountered many extremely "phunny" pronunciations myself especially in Rajasthan. Punjab, Up and the southern states included.
I've been an English teacher for many years and also a spoken language trainer, it's so much fun at times and shocking at others. A Rajasthani doc had me stupefied when he said he would have to "taste" my urine sample before he could tell me what was wrong with me!!
Thanks for sharing Om.
Reply to this
Thanks, Joy. I have found that people from two very different states such as Punjab and Kerala, (both) say, Doug for dog and Coat for cot!
Reply to this
It is fart quaint and part maddening that we have so many ways of speaking English!
Reply to this
Irene, often, spelling mistakes take the cake!
Reply to this
Hi Om,
Real cool , I was reading this at office , and it was very hard to control myself , everyone around me were looking at me with weird looks. But serious , before we start our day at office , it is really nice to read an article like this , it makes you feel good ..
Reply to this
Hi Savitha!
Nice to see you here! Glad to know that you liked this article. If you can, please see "Simble English" that I have posted in Sulekha.com under my blogs.
Reply to this
Hi Om,
So you bridged the North South divide by marrying it eh
Much Love,
Devjyoti Barooah
Reply to this
Hi DJ,
Thanks.
I have forgotten some of the assamese words that you taught me. But I still have some pages of your handwritten notes that you gave me when I was sick once in the institute and could attend classes!
Real nice, seeing you here!
Reply to this
Well,well,that was a highly enjoyable blog.But English is such a language that not only do we find such peculiarities in accents within our own country, but internationally too.
There was a board in a Gujarati function-SNAKES ARE SERVED IN THE HOLE.
What they meant was SNACKS ARE SERVED IN THE HALL !
Reply to this
Thank you, Madam. you are very right when you say that English, as spoken by different peoples of different countries, does get a variety of accents and peculiarities.
Reply to this
Nice and hilarious too.
Reply to this
Thanks, Gouri.
Reply to this
Next time I meet Shail & Om, I will be very careful with my pronunciation. If I am unusually quite I am sure you will understand why.
Reply to this
Uncle, if you visit us and then keep quiet, you will be embracing us!
Reply to this
In these days of linguistic jingoism and fanaticism, your take on the universal relevance of English comes as a breath of fresh air - perhaps we Indians have finally learnt to sideline the agenda of our political bosses and gone ahead to adopt English as an indispensable tool of communicating with the outside world. As you are rightly pointing out, Indian English has a multilayered flavour, seasoned with the unique intonations of our diverse tongues. With our population sprinting beyond the one billion mark, perhaps it is time for us to claim English as our very own language - Indian English with distinct flavours, just like cuisine!
Especially, like the genial humour and the feel-good tone of the writing!
Thanks for the joyous reading experience!
Sudha
Reply to this
Nice blog, Mr Om Prakash. Most of the times, the readers'or listeners'skills are put to test rather than that of the deliverer!(more so when you are an outsider in Kerala!)
When I was a probationer, I got a letter seeking Casual leave as one was suffering from "Slow motion."(I had great difficulty in making out that the fellow suffered from constipation., opposite of "loose motio"n!"
Reply to this