You have one car, you need one more.
You have two cars, you need three.
You have three cars, you need a fleet.
Where does this wanting more ever end?
I was bringing my daughter home after a summertime workshop at Mumbai’s Prithvi theatre, where I believe they had been taught something about life in Gandhi’s Ashram. She had enjoyed the workshop but was at the moment busy sulking because I had refused to take her for lunch to her favourite seafood restaurant. Apart from the fact that I was trying to explain to her that you cannot spend endlessly, I also refused because it was just 11 am. We could spend the interim period in a book shop. We could, I agreed, but I will not buy you more books till you read the ones you have. I get a dirty look which translates into ‘oh, you heartless miserly woman’, but I am firm. She is a kid and forgets in a while, eventually ending the day on a happy, non-sulking note.
But is it really her fault, now that the American curse of consumerism is being passed on to us? Everything has to be super-sized and you can no longer buy a small pack of popcorn during a movie interval – it has to be a tub! All malls are telling you that if you buy a certain product, you’ll get another free… never mind if you never needed either in the first place! Your father doesn’t love you if he doesn’t buy you insurance, your mother doesn’t love you if she scowls when you come home in dirty clothes. Moms are eternally smiling and understanding, Dad is smiling and providing. And God save us who don’t live up to the high standards of consumerism set by the advertising parents. I try to explain to my daughter that no good, responsible parent allows her child to buy everything that catches the fancy. I try to explain about various expenses, about prioritizing expenses… I doubt if she understands.
Of late it has been tougher to explain the need for a certain amount of austerity or restraint. I can no longer hope to steer my daughter away from the unsavory ways of the world. The Tharoor-Modi spat was just the tip of the juiciest scandal to be ever fed to the Indian media, and boy do they love it! I am worrying less and less about the spicy tidbits about this and the parallely running Godman sex scandal. I am worrying more and more about what value systems (or lack thereof) the IPL scam is exposing our kids to. Ministers, film stars, industrialists and more – everyone is seemingly involved and seemingly corrupt. And they are all people who had so much money and more. Flouting of rules, nepotism and above all. Greed. As long as greed rules, things will continue to get worsen. We must teach our children things that many of these IPL fellows never managed to learn as kids – that money is not the most important thing in this world.
Excellent. I fully agree with you. Money is only the means and how much can one consume?
Referring to the IPL and other such money scams-Can one take the money away when one dies? Will the next generation ever learn to earn ethically if they are bequeathed such ill gotten gains?
Events of the past few days are extremely saddening.
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Well, even the earlier generations were not saints
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True, Irene. It is a mad, mad world. Full of greed. Your daughter sure has an excellent mother... Just to let you know ( which you already know though
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Thanks Sneha
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Enjoyed this article.We must teach our children things that many of these IPL fellows never managed to learn as kids – that money is not the most important thing in this world. 100% right.
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Right said Uma
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Irene, there would be less greed if there were more sensible mothers (like you and many of us) who taught their kids firmly, that there was always a limit to what they could ask for and get!
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Just at the right time. I was just trying to explain to my daughter that her bicycle is fine, she doesn't need a new one just because her friend has a new one. Tough to get across. greed is gripping us all so firmly.
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I agree with you Irene totally. Happiness does not come from the number of things you own but how you use what you already own. I am thankful that our children have inherited these values.
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You know Irene this is exactly what my son was reflecting on the other day, when he said, " Ma I'm glad we grew up at a time when materialism hadn't taken over, and our values are in place."
Then we both thought of his baby daughter and we laughed as he said, "She's goin to make us run..!"
Of course the values will be imparted the big Q is will they be imbibed..? For everyone's sake I hope so..
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A very timely article. When I was growing up austerity was the keyword. Parents were to be obeyed.Respect was another keyword. My parents stood their ground and set the rules. By the time I brought up my children I let them have their own way in minor things. In the name of democracy I let them talk back. Luckily, they were not greedy, but they certainly did their own thing.I have no grandchildren, but I have seen my friends exhaust their resources trying to pamper the new generation. The media lures children with the idea they are not good enough unless they have Reebbok shoes,or huge quantities of pizza, icecream or chocolates. Psychologists blame parents for whatever goes wrong. Irene, I am sure your children will turn out well,but many will fall victim to the current mode of material values.
Regards.
Prema
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Hi Irene. That was a beautiful one.It indeed is very frightening when you have to wonder how well can you safeguard your child from the wicked materialistic ways of the world. I know we are trying our best but that fear always lurks in the background. Agree entirely.
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Your article is so relevant to our times, Irene. I really wish that all parents would think the way you do. That's the only way in which a desirable change can be brought about.
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Mita, Lesley, Padma, Shail, Prema, Joy, Vimala, I'll really miss all these interactions with you guys. It's been so wonderful here.
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